- "Oh, don’t make a pig’s ear of this! Go on, hog the headlines!"
- — Jonathan Pearce introduces The Hassocks Hog in Series 6
The Hassocks Hog was a competitor from West Sussex that fought in Series 6 and Series 7 of Robot Wars. Two different versions entered, but both were wedge-shaped with lifting weaponry, and both lost their only battles.
Noel Poncelet was convinced to build the machine by his three sons, Jonathan, Robert and Daniel, who were all huge fans of Robot Wars, with encouragement from his wife Jude.
- "I had thought for some time about building a robot because all three of my children really loved watching the carnage each Friday night. My wife Jude had also suggested several times that I should have a go, but I wasn't too sure how or where to start. But always wanting a challenge I "bit the bullet" and joined the Robot Wars club in February 2000. For the first six months I bounced ideas of various people, including my father, brothers, and friends. I was hoping my brothers would take on some of the design work, but since we lived in different parts of England, it was not easy to get things moving very fast. In the end I decided to do the majority of design work myself, and bring other people in as-and-when required later on."
- — Noel Poncelot on The Hassocks Hog website
Versions of Hassocks HogEdit
The Hassocks HogEdit
The original Hassocks Hog was a large box wedge with a flipper, similar to the Series 6 and 7 versions of Iron-Awe, only taller and featuring a self-righting “tail” on the top instead of an axe. This version had no real efficiency motors and the flipper was low power, acting more as a lifter, but the robot was quite fast, with a top speed of 17mph.
Despite surviving to the end of its first round battle in The Sixth Wars, it was deemed by the judges to have become immobilised, as it was only driving around in circles, having lost drive on one side, and it was therefore eliminated.
Hassocks Hog 2Edit
After this defeat, a new machine, Hassocks Hog 2, styled on the team's banner as Hassocks Hog II, was built, designed to address the flaws of the original machine. The second version was more compact, fully enclosed in armour, and featured efficiency motors and a much more powerful, 16 bar pneumatic flipper.
- "We’ve come back this year with a much improved flipper. We had a limp lifter last year, now we’ve got some serious pneumatics. So we’re hoping to flip a few, rather than just tip them.”"
- — Noel Poncelet, introducing the new and improved Hog in Series 7
The improvements did not help the new machine do any better in the competition, as it was flipped over very quickly and failed to self right because its flipper failed to work, meaning it went out in the first round again.
Both machines had large, furry, stabilising ears, and the team wore hats with furry ears that matched the ears on their hats.
- Noel Poncelet: "We also have the furry ears to stabilise it as well, they're functional as well as being ... a target!"
- Jayne Middlemiss: "Is the furriness though, not a bit of a fire hazard?"
- Noel Poncelet: "Yes, I have to say, its going to look good when they catch fire. We’re not looking forward to seeing Sgt Bash in there!"
- — Noel and Jayne discuss the Hog’s furry ears in Series 7
Both machines had spotted underpants painted on the bottom of the robot. These were shown in a post-battle interview in Series 6, and were shown to the audience as Mr. Psycho picked up the robot after defeat in Series 7.
The team originally planned to enter Series 5, but were not ready in time for the Qualifiers. 
- "I finally got around to filling in the official Robot Wars entry form today. I filled in all the sections but wrote across the front page "May not be ready for series 5, but please include in for the following series". This was the advice of one of the Robot Wars ladies who I spoke to on the phone. She suggested writing this on the front so that they would keep me informed of any rule changes or events taking place in the future."
- — Noel Poncelot in 2001
At the Series 6 qualifiers, The Hassocks Hog fought Ming 3, Revolution 2 and Immortalis. It won the battle, therefore gaining an automatic spot in Series 6. Ming 3 and Revolution 2 recieved discretionary places to qualify. 
- "As the voice called "three, two, one, activate," everyone went for Ming. We had a few collisions before one of the others managed to whip Ming's safety link out leaving him completely immobilised. ... "Immortalis" quickly became stationary next to Ming, and it was then up to "Revolution" and me to battle it out. My flipper was a bit sluggish by now, possibly because the pneumatics were getting cold with all the flipping we were trying to do. It still operated, but only lifted the others rather than flipping them. It was interesting to then listen to us both talking to each other in the booth as we battled to the end. We would bump into each other and then say "oops, sorry about that", but the battle had to go on. "Revolution" managed to get a few good hits on us, but had severely buckled its spinning blades in the process. We still bashed into each other a bit before after one collision he half climbed on top of me, getting hooked on our tail. We dragged him about a bit, while Jonathan tried to shake him of by operating the tail. I eventually backed into the arena side wall which loosened him enough for the tail to finally push him off and back onto the arena floor. It was this final manoeuvre that gave us some extra "control" points. When they called "cease" we were the only two robots still mobile, and it wasn't until we descended from the booth did we know we had won. The kids were jubilant, and so was I. We had suffered a few holes in our cladding, but the chassis had held up well and saved us from any serious damage."
- — Noel Poncelot on The Hassocks Hog website
Hassocks Hog 2 fought Disc-O-Inferno, Hannibal and Sabretooth at the Series 7 qualifiers. It lost the battle, after receiving a large gash down the right-hand side and damage to the right drivetrain from the disc of Disc-O-Inferno, but received a discretionary place to qualify. 
- "As the fog horn sounded, I went for the safe option of attacking Hannibal, the flipper based robot. Disco Inferno went for Saber (sic) Tooth and immobilised it quite quickly by ripping off a side panel, and with it, its safety link. I felt it was now safe to go in and flip Saber Tooth in the air a few times, as did Hannibal. However, Hannibal's flipper jammed, and was unable to do any more flipping. I felt I had shown my flipper was able to do something, so gingerly wandered around the rest of the arena, trying desperately to keep out of the way of Disco Inferno's disk. I managed it for a while but then they went for me and all of a sudden the Hog was shot across the arena with a front panel flying into the air. The front was now exposed, and I could see the chassis was quite badly torn and bent. I also noticed that right hand drive was not working, and presumed the sudden jolt had caused the chain to jump off. I could only go in circles now, and it was obvious that Disco Inferno was the clear winner as the fog horn signaled the end of the battle. The Hog was unceremoniously shoved out of the arena by the house robots, so that I could then see the full extent of the damage. The producers came over and said that they would like me to take part in the main event provided I thought I could repair the robot. From the damage I could see, I felt it was possible and said "yes" I would be back on Tuesday. They told me I would be meeting Dantomkia, Rick, and King B 2 in the next round, which was an excellent draw because none of them had high energy spinners. All I had to do now was get the robot home and repair the damage within the next three days!"
- — Noel Poncelot on The Hassocks Hog website
- Philippa Forrester: "What’s this I hear about The Hassocks Hog having a thing for Matilda?"
- Noel Poncelet: "It’s got this little affection; they look very similar, from the same stable so to speak; they’ve got tusks, snouty nose and they’ve got ears!"
- — Noel and Philippa discuss the Hog’s love for Matilda
- "In the booth with us was the Spam team. As we were waiting to start the battle I said to them, how about we go for the others before we go for each other. He agreed, so I said I would go for Ming while he went for Hot Pants."
- — Noel Poncelet
The Hassocks Hog had already fought Ming 3 in its qualifier battle for the Sixth Wars, so it went straight for Andrew Cotterell's machine. Ming 3 tried to skewer The Hassocks Hog with its crusher, but The Hassocks Hog ultimately escaped without much damage. Shortly after, a ramming attack from Spam impeded the The Hassocks Hog's movement. The end of the motor support plate had been bent by the attack and the chain ultimately jumped off the sprocket. The left wheel seemed to freewheel and The Hassocks Hog was reduced to moving in circles.
Despite being impeded, The Hassocks Hog survived to the end of the battle, whilst Hot Pants and Spam were both pitted. However, the judges intervened and deemed that The Hassocks Hog's reduced mobility meant it was actually immobile for beyond the allowed time. As such, The Hassocks Hog was eliminated with Hot Pants, and Spam survived to go through to round 2.
- "A slight touch of controversy, which we always have on Robot Wars. Our judges, who are infinitely wise, have decided that The Hassocks Hog was going round in circles, so basically it was immobilised, and that was before Spam was thrown into the pits. Now, Hot Pants was in that leftover heat and were thrown out of the kitchen, but our judges in their infinite wisdom reckon that Ming 3 and Spam go through!"
- — Craig Charles explains the judge’s decision
In the post-battle interview, Noel showed off The Hassocks Hog's pants to Philippa Forrester.
- Philippa Forrester: "There’s something we didn’t get to see! Let’s take a look underneath this robot ... [Noel lifts up the robot] We didn’t get to see ... the pants! [Laughs] Thank you!"
- Jonathan Pearce: "I’m not sure if we really wanted to see that!"
- — Philippa Forrester, as Noel shows off the Hog’s pants
- "Sly and spry from the sty, to poke one in the eye!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Hassocks Hog 2 enters the arena
In the first round of the Seventh Wars, Hassocks Hog 2 faced a tough draw against Dantomkia, King B Powerworks and Rick, all of whom had either reached a semi-final or won a side tournament in the past.
Shortly after the battle began, Dantomkia flipped Hassocks Hog 2 over and pushed it onto the flame pit. Hassocks Hog 2 attempted to self-right, but the flipper failed to function and the ears began to burn.
- "About ten seconds into the battle I was in a good position to flip Rick, but Jonathan hadn't operated the flipper. I thought nothing of it, as Damtomkia swiftly slid next to us and flipped us over onto our back. I asked Jonathan to flip us back, but he said he was trying. It was then that I realised that something major had gone wrong. Jonathan too realised that we had lost complete control of the Hog and I could see his eyes starting to fill up..."
- — Noel Poncelet
With Hassocks Hog 2 immobile, Refbot counted it out. Mr. Psycho grappled it and tried to hammer it before dragging it around the arena. Mr. Psycho dropped it on the Drop Zone, only for the hog to gain a little bit of life, spinning away from the Drop Zone, helped by Dantomkia and King B Powerworks pushing it. Mr. Psycho picked it up again, spinning it around so the audience could see the pants, before dropping it out of the arena, just before the battle went to a judges' decision for the other three machines.
- "It didn't last the whole hog, did it? ... Back to the sty, young Hassocks Hog!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Hassocks Hog 2 was counted out and dropped out of the arena
In the pits, it was discovered the flipper had failed to work because the CO2 bottle had leaked onto the regulator, which caused it to freeze.
|THE HASSOCKS HOG - RESULTS|
|The Sixth Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 1
|Heat H, Round 1||vs. Hot Pants, Ming 3, Spam||Eliminated|
|HASSOCKS HOG 2 - RESULTS|
|The Seventh Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 1
|Heat C, Round 1||vs. Dantomkia (5), King B Powerworks, Rick||Eliminated|
- Wins: 0
- Losses: 2
|Series||The Hassocks Hog Record|
|The First Wars||Did not enter|
|The Second Wars||Did not enter|
|The Third Wars||Did not enter|
|The Fourth Wars||Did not enter|
|The Fifth Wars||Did not enter|
|The Sixth Wars||Heat, Round 1|
|The Seventh Wars||Heat, Round 1|
|Series 8||Did not enter|
|Series 9||Did not enter|
- The initial concept drawing of The Hassocks Hog had a biting mouth and sharp tusks.
- Similar to Killerkat and Hellbent, Noel claimed that The Hassocks Hog was in love with Matilda, due to their similar design, but unfortunately neither of their battles featured Matilda as a House Robot.
- The Hassocks Hog team were good friends with the Killer Carrot team, another group of Roboteers from West Sussex. Noel Poncelot designed a spreadsheet to calculate flipper heights for them whilst they team were building the new Killer Carrot machine for the Seventh Wars, whilst the Dangerous Vegetable team painted them a team logo in exchange for some spare parts.
- In their Series 6 battle, The Hassocks Hog team was the only team that had never appeared on the show before, and in their Series 7 battle, all three of their opponents had reached a Semi-Final, won a trophy, or both.
- Noel Poncelot's father was French, and before Series 7, he was offered the possibility of representing France, but nothing came of this idea. If Hassocks Hog had represented France, it would have been the only robot ever to do so.
- "I had a phone call from Robot Wars asking if I was going to enter this years event. They also asked a few questions about me to see if there were any angles they could use on the next series. The fact that my father was French seemed to appeal to them because I could be involved in a European type of event as well as a UK one."
- — Noel Poncelot before Series 7
- Noel Poncelot went on record saying his greatest fear in Robot Wars was high powered spinners, and was drawn against two of them in the Series 7 qualifier (Disc-O-Inferno and Sabretooth).
- Robert and Jonathan Poncelet were so upset after losing in Round 1 of the Seventh Wars, Jayne Middlemiss took pity on them, tried to cheer them up and gave them a post battle interview, which no other losing Round 1 team had in The Seventh Wars (barring Terrorhurtz), but the interview was not shown on TV.