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"Built by Essex schoolboys, those SAT'arn pointed horns are made of shelving brackets bolted together, but a turning circle of a sluggish 3m could leave these hopes blunted!"
Jonathan Pearce introduces SAT'arn

SAT'arn was a featherweight robot which competed exclusively in Robot Wars: The First Wars. Built as a school project by a team of Essex-based students - lead by brothers Tom and Sam Barber - it reached the Arena Semi-Final stage of its Heat before being eliminated by The Demolisher.

Design[]

SAT'arn S1

SAT'arn in its introduction, with its fork weapons plus its decorative snout and eye

SAT'arn was an angled box-wedge shaped robot with a black and red paint scheme, loosely themed around a bull. The front end featured a moulded snout and top panel with an opened left 'eye', while the back was fitted with a 'wagging tail', and the top with additional paintwork representing flames. A smoke machine, sound generator and laser effects within the 'eye' would also be included in SAT'arn's design, these features being demonstrated in the team's introduction from The Pits.

"We've got a number of different features; we've got a wagging tail at the back, sound effects, we've got a smoke machine for the nose, and a laser for the eye."
— Tom Barber

As weapons, SAT'arn was armed with a pair of static front 'horns' made from shelving brackets bolted together, though these would be replaced for its actual events with a pair of smaller types attached further up its front corners. A small spike was also fixed to the rear in place of the wagging tail, mounted near the top of its 10mm fibreglass shell.[1] The physical 'snout' and 'eye' decorations would also not be fitted for any of SAT'arn's appearances aside from the introductions, instead being represented by painted equivalents on the front wedge shape.

SAT'arn Crop

SAT'arn after its decorations and original weaponry were removed

SAT'arn

SAT'arn in the Arena Semi-Final

According to Oliver Steeples, SAT'arn's base was a Tamiya monster truck, making it a four-wheeled machine with car-type steering. The Tamiya running gear gave it a high top speed of 10mph, but suffered reliability issues as a result of the shell's added weight. SAT'arn's statistics board claimed that its turning circle was three metres - a statement reiterated by Jonathan Pearce - though Steeples claims that it was actually only 40cm.[1]

The Team[]

"We used to be quite interested in models. My dad does model boats and things, so we went along to this model exhibition in London and they had a stand about Robot Wars. It looked really interesting so we put our names down, and about a year later they wrote to us asking if we wanted to take part."
— Tom Barber, interviewed in the Billericay and Wickford Gazette
SatarnTeam

SAT'arn with its team

SAT'arn was entered The SAT'llites, a team from Essex, led by teenagers Tom Barber and Sam Barber. Only being 15 and 13 respectively at the time, they were accompanied to filming by their mother Bridget, although she was not credited on the statistics board[2]. She did not appear in the team's introduction, nor help control the robot, but did appear with the team after their Arena stage battle.

Qualification[]

Satarn rc s1 auditions

An unpainted SAT'arn in a race with an RC car during the Series 1 auditions

SAT'arn attended the Series 1 auditions alongside all other fellow Series 1 competitors, four weeks before filming. SAT'arn was also used for a "race" between competitors in a labyrinth maze with the objective of getting to Stephen Carsey first; it faced Grunt in one of these races.

Robot History[]

Series 1[]

Competing in Heat D, SAT'arn was the fourth robot in this episode to be introduced, and the third to attempt The Gauntlet.

"What Tom and Sam Barber didn't tell you is that SAT'arn also moos as it goes along. Mad cow disease? These boys are bonkers already!"
— Jonathan Pearce as SAT'arn runs The Gauntlet
Satarngauntlet

SAT'arn dummies Matilda to complete The Gauntlet

It started by reversing out of the turntable, slowly reversing into a fence. SAT'arn quickly turned around, and aimed for the far route, but Sergeant Bash blocked its way. Whilst trying to get past the House Robot, it drove into the side railings, but Sergeant Bash held back, forcing SAT'arn to quickly turn away and dart down the course. However, in its haste, it drove straight into a pyramid, getting stuck between the pyramid and the second ramp. SAT'arn managed to reverse, but as it tried getting past the pyramid, it drove into it again.

"I'm not too sure about the steering with that mad one eye..."
— Jonathan Pearce as SAT'arn bumps into the pyramid again

Recovering, SAT'arn turned past the pyramid and charged towards the end, neatly dodging Matilda to complete the course.

"...but it certainly is bullish! Oh what a great run, straight through! Look at the manoeuvrability and 10 miles an hour speed past the House Robots!"
— Jonathan Pearce as SAT'arn completes the course

The leaderboard showed SAT'arn to have completed the Gauntlet in the quickest time, even though The Demolisher only appeared to take nine seconds to complete it.

Jeremy Clarkson: "I can't believe you beat both of them!"
Tom Barber: "Brilliant!"
Jeremy Clarkson: "That was brilliant, well done."
— The post Gauntlet interview
Stockcarcrash

SAT'arn (right) ploughs into the side rails, triggering a pile-up on the first lap

Stock car

The Demolisher overtakes SAT'arn

In the Trial, which was Stock Car, SAT'arn started in pole position, having finished first on the leaderboard. It started badly, crashing into the fence as it took the first corner, and Cunning Plan and The Demolisher crashed into the back of it. Cunning Plan and SAT'arn reversed together, leaving SAT'arn from the fence and able to continue. It made it past the second turn, but as it reached the centre, it clipped a wall, and The Demolisher overtook it.

SAT'arn turned itself off the wall, and followed The Demolisher, having no problem with the next turn, but it slowed down approaching the turn after that. It drove towards the centre, but drove into a wall again. Krayzee Tokyo drove into it as it tried reversing off the wall, and SAT'arn appeared to be blocking its opponent for a short time, even reversing into Krayzee Tokyo. SAT'arn then shot forward to cross the line.

The Essex machine seemed to be progressing well on its second lap, but was briefly blocked by the immobile chassis of The Demolisher, which had flipped itself over taking the final corner too quickly. SAT'arn struggled to squeeze in between The Demolisher and the wall, but managed to push past the overturned opponent. However, before it could complete its second lap, Bugs and the immobile Krayzee Tokyo were blocking SAT'arn's way. SAT'arn pushed Bugs aside, and the two crossed the line. At this point, it was moving sluggishly, promptly driving into the railings. This did not matter, however, as Cunning Plan completed its final lap to win the race. SAT'arn came joint second and qualified for the Arena stage, where it met The Demolisher in its Semi-Final.

Phillipa Forrester: "How do you think SAT'arn will fare?"
Tom Barber: "Pretty well I think, it's a lot bigger, and got more power behind it."
— Tom Barber on how he felt about fighting The Demolisher

SAT'arn charged The Demolisher, but missed as The Demolisher swerved away.

"SAT'arn, like a bull, rushes at the Demolisher - oh, you silly moo, you missed him!"
— Jonathan Pearce
SAT'arn gets damaged

SAT'arn takes damage from Matilda

SAT'arn reversed after its opponent, but The Demolisher drove away from it again, reversing around SAT'arn. SAT'arn chased after The Demolisher, hitting it front-on, but The Demolisher bounced off, so SAT'arn failed to get under its opponent. SAT'arn reversed for another charge, and tried getting under the side of The Demolisher, pushing against the side with its spikes, and towards Shunt's CPZ. The Demolisher managed to escape, and as SAT'arn reversed, it suddenly lost mobility, the speed controller expiring under the weight of its fibreglass shell.[1]

The House Robots closed in, with Shunt pushing SAT'arn, along with The Demolisher, which had rammed into SAT'arn's side. Matilda pinned The Demolisher onto SAT'arn, and her chainsaw easily cut through SAT'arn's wooden armour. However, the chainsaw stopped when it hit the metal frame of The Demolisher, and Matilda let the two go. The other House Robots continued attacking it, and SAT'arn was eliminated.

"There was a connection that came off...we had problems with it yesterday."
— A crestfallen Tom Barber explains SAT'arn's breakdown to Phillipa Forrester

According to Oliver Steeples, SAT'arn's breakdown was caused by the speed controller failing.

"[The fibreglass] shell was its undoing as it weighed too much and caused SAT'arn to blow it in the semi final against Demoliser. {sic} ... the speedo blew and Matilda had no trouble almost cutting SAT'arn in half. "
— Oliver Steeples summarises SAT'arn's downfall[1]

Results[]

SAT'ARN - RESULTS
Series 1
The First Wars - UK Championships
Heats, Arena Semi-Final
Heat D, Gauntlet Completed (1st) Qualified
Heat D, Trial (Stock Car) 2 laps (3rd) Qualified
Heat D, Arena Semi-Final vs. The Demolisher Lost

Wins/Losses[]

  • Wins: 0
  • Losses: 1

NOTE: SAT'arn's successful Gauntlet and Trial runs are not included

Series Record[]

Series SAT'arn Series Record
The First Wars Heat, Arena Semi-Final
The Second Wars Did not enter
The Third Wars Did not enter
The Fourth Wars Did not enter
The Fifth Wars Did not enter
The Sixth Wars Did not enter
The Seventh Wars Did not enter
Series 8 Did not enter
Series 9 Did not enter
Series 10 Did not enter

Gallery[]

Trivia[]

  • SAT'arn is one of twenty-three robots to have completed The Gauntlet, and also the best of three featherweights to do so (alongside Cunning Plan and The Demolisher).
  • Tom Barber was a student at King Edward VI Grammar School, which also entered Series 1 with T.R.A.C.I.E., whilst Sam went to Brentwood School, which would later also enter Robot Wars, entering the reboot with Expulsion[3].
  • During SAT'arn's introduction, Stuart McDonald pronounced its name as "Sat-urn" (as in the planet) instead of the more common "Sat-arn", seemingly amused by its unusual spelling.

References[]

Navigation[]

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