- "Now, when you think of love, you think: candlelit dinners, skipping through poppy fields, where’s all me money gone?! But love is important in life. Without love, all those people who make those huge hippos with ‘I want to wallow in you’ written on them, would be out of a job. But fortunately for us, where there’s love, there’s also hate, and love has no place in our arena. A gentle kiss on the cheek won’t get you through to our series semi-finals; a Glasgow kiss on the nose just might!"
- — Craig Charles' introduction
Heat F of Robot Wars: The Third Wars was the sixth of sixteen heats which determined the Semi-Finalists of Robot Wars: The Third Wars. The episode featuring Heat F was originally broadcast on January 14, 2000 on BBC Two. The broadcast managed to attract 3.85 million viewers, a decrease of 2.28 million viewers when compared with the previous episode. According to BARB, this meant it ranked eighth in the top thirty highest rated BBC 2 broadcasts during 10-16 January.
Competing Robots
Newcomers
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|---|---|---|
| Darke Destroyer | ||
| Weight | 66.1kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.67 x 1.14 x 0.76m | |
| Clearance | 0.04m | |
| Power | 3 x Electric Motors | |
| Weapons | Blade | |
| Notes | Shell is 16 Gauge Mild Steel | |
| From: Hampshire | ||
| Team Members: Rob Darke, Chris Darke, Neale Darke | ||
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|---|---|---|
| Gravedigger | ||
| Weight | 79.8kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.62 x 1.31 x 0.82m | |
| Clearance | 0.02m | |
| Power | 2 x Electric Motors | |
| Weapons | Arm Powered by Hydraulic Ram | |
| Notes | Steel Shell in a Coffin Shape | |
| From: Norwich | ||
| Team Members: Jonathan Chaplin, Dave Chaplin, Owen Ramsey | ||
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|---|---|---|
| Manic Mutant | ||
| Weight | 79.1kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.42 x 1.26 x 0.89m | |
| Clearance | 0.01m | |
| Power | 3 x Forklift Truck Motors | |
| Weapons | Lift + Spinning Disc at Rear | |
| Notes | Cost £256 | |
| From: Rugby | ||
| Team Members: Paul Hunt, Christopher Shawcross, Martin Jones | ||
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Ming | ||
| Weight | 80.0kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.55 x 1.10 x 0.7m | |
| Clearance | 0.01m | |
| Power | 3 x Electric Motors | |
| Weapons | Circular Saw | |
| Notes | Cost £1,800 | |
| From: Bath | ||
| Team Members: Andrew Cotterell, Alexander Cotterell, Tim Hurdle | ||
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|---|---|---|
| Sgt. Meikle | ||
| Weight | 64.8kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.62 x 1.31 x 0.82m | |
| Clearance | 0.01m | |
| Power | 2 x Wheelchair Motors | |
| Weapons | CO2 Powered Punch | |
| Notes | Cost £400 | |
| From: Coventry | ||
| Team Members: Dean Lawrence, Scott Whittaker, Andy Beesley | ||
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Vector | ||
| Weight | 71.4kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.39 x 0.88 x 0.72m | |
| Clearance | 0.01m | |
| Power | 4hp Hydraulic System | |
| Weapons | Hydraulic Powered Arm | |
| Notes | Cost £500 | |
| From: Nottingham | ||
| Team Members: Alan Wilson, Philip Wilson, Susannah Wilson | ||
Veterans
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Mortis | ||
| Weight | 79.5kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.36 x 0.76 x 0.91m | |
| Clearance | 0.02m | |
| Power | 3 x Motors | |
| Weapons | Hammer & Lifting Arm | |
| Notes | Cost £30,000 | |
| From: Cambridge University | ||
| Team Members: Rob Knight, Arthur Chilcott, Ben Gordon | ||
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|---|---|---|
| T2 | ||
| Weight | 71.4kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.52 x 0.91 x 0.72m | |
| Clearance | 0.02m | |
| Power | 2 x 24V Wheelchair Motors | |
| Weapons | Pneumatic Lifting Mechanism | |
| Notes | Can lift 13 Stone | |
| From: Sussex | ||
| Team Members: Rupert Weeks, Chris Weeks, Ken Frost | ||
Round 1
- "Only one thing to say before we start. Let the wars begin!"
- — Craig Charles
Mortis vs. Ming
Mortis flips over Ming
Mortis advanced towards Ming quickly and hit it with the axe, before activating the lifter and glancing the disc of Ming with it, causing sparks to fly. Ming, seemingly struggling with mobility, was lifted over by Mortis, causing the saw to detach from Ming spectacularly.
- "Oh, the blade's gone! The blade flown, there it goes!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
Having defeated its opponent, Mortis turned its attention to the House Robots by going towards Matilda. Dead Metal and Shunt came in quickly with the former clutching Mortis' rear and the latter hitting Mortis with its axe.
- "The audience loving this, the pit's loving this, and I'm loving it too, Mortis, to be honest!"
- — Jonathan Pearce enjoys the battle between Mortis and the House Robots
Mortis is axed by Shunt as it tussles with the House Robots
Dead Metal then backed away which allowed Shunt to charge Mortis towards the arena wall and over; it self-righted, but Dead Metal and Shunt combined once more and pushed it into the pit.
- "Ooh, lovely... lovely. Look at that. That's one of my favourite moments in the entire history of Robot Wars."
- — Jonathan Pearce as the House Robots pit Mortis
Winner: Mortis
Vector vs. T2
T2 rams an immobile Vector
T2 had the faster start, but Vector did not seem to be moving at all and was billowing large amounts of smoke. T2 came in with a couple of slams with Vector still struggling for movement.
- "Can see the yellow lifting arm: lifts, shreds, pokes, cuts hair, drives a car, works a computer, does just about everything that arm, except move..."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Vector rolled forwards, but then stopped again on a set of spikes which impaled it multiple times. T2 eventually nudged Vector into Matilda's CPZ, but for some reason, T2 drove away, backed onto the edge of the pit and rolled in.
T2 falls into the pit
- "T2 flushed down the loo! And I wonder, if they go through... because, were Vector immobilised before T2 went down? I honestly don't know."
- — Jonathan Pearce
The House Robots then closed in on Vector, Shunt axing the lifting arm and ripping off a panel. The judges decided that T2 had won, as Vector had been immobilised long enough to be considered out before T2 pitted itself.
- "T for two. Two for T. Through in a spree."
- — Jonathan Pearce afterwards
Winner: T2
Darke Destroyer vs. Sgt. Meikle
The Darke Destroyer rams Sgt. Meikle
This match was slow compared to the previous two. Sgt. Meikle brought its axe down, but it was too slow and did nothing more than scrape Darke Destroyer. The Darke Destroyer then brought its blade into play, scratching the shell of Sgt. Meikle. Sgt. Meikle used the axe once more, but it continued to cause little trouble. The blade of Darke Destroyer stopped twice on impact.
- "So it obviously needs a run up on the attack, The Darke Destroyer, to get any penetrating, punishing power from that blade."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Darke Destroyer damages Sgt. Meikle
Sgt. Meikle pushed The Darke Destroyer towards Matilda, but in doing so, overstepped its mark and went into the CPZ itself. It backed away as Matilda charged out and continued to weather the hits from Darke Destroyer's blade, while its own axe weapon was not working properly and its spike was underneath Darke Destroyer's clearance. At the end of the fight, Darke Destroyer's blade then folded in on itself, just before time ran out.
- "For me, The Darke Destroyer just did enough."
- — Jonathan Pearce
The judges gave the fight to The Darke Destroyer.
Winner: Darke Destroyer
Gravedigger vs. Manic Mutant
Manic Mutant gets in behind Gravedigger
Manic Mutant starting brightly, getting a early glancing blow in at the side of Gravedigger before getting in behind and attempting to shove it. Gravedigger dug in though, and this forced Manic Mutant to back away.
- "Now, we'll see the pushing power of Manic Mutant, and Gravedigger actually heaving back!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Manic Mutant gets in behind Gravedigger
Gravedigger flips Manic Mutant
Manic Mutant then retreated in order to line up another drive towards Gravedigger and slammed into the side of it. Manic Mutant still struggled to force Gravedigger back a sufficient distance though, and backed away again. Manic Mutant drove at Gravedigger once more, but this time, the front of Gravedigger was facing it, and as a result, it shot up the front of Gravedigger's wedge. Gravedigger fired its flipping arm, but Manic Mutant wasn't in line with the Gravedigger weapon, so it missed. After repositioning slightly, Manic Mutant was now in the right position, and Gravedigger threw Manic Mutant over, immobilising it. Cease was called straight afterwards. Although, extra footage had then shown Gravedigger pushing the overturned Manic Mutant towards the pit, and finally dumping it in. But, because of time constraints this scene was omitted.
Winner: Gravedigger
Round 2
- "And this, the second round line-up. Mortis against Gravedigger, and Darke Destroyer against T2"
- — Jonathan Pearce recapping the second round line-up from earlier
Mortis vs. Gravedigger
Mortis lifts Gravedigger into Shunt, who axes it
Mortis immediately charged at Gravedigger, catching it broadside on and axing it multiple times. Gravedigger backed away, with Mortis continuing to pressurize Gravedigger, forcing it into Shunt. Mortis lifted Gravedigger up, which allowed Shunt to carve a crevasse into Gravedigger.
- "And look at that damage sustained immediately by Gravedigger!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
Gravedigger thrusts Mortis over
Mortis then stopped lifting Gravedigger and instead decided to push Gravedigger further into Shunt's CPZ. Shunt managed to record another axe blow on Gravedigger, before Gravedigger finally escaped. Mortis attempted to go after Gravedigger again, but skirted too close to Shunt's CPZ, with the House Robot axing it as a result. Mortis then got stuck on a set of arena spikes while Shunt lifted it up with the scoop. This allowed Gravedigger to get underneath Mortis and then thrust it over. Shunt pushed Mortis away from the CPZ, who then landed back on its tracks. Mortis and Gravedigger then clashed head on and a brief pushing match ensued. Mortis backed away after a short period, and then its right hand track locked up and it couldn't move freely.
- "Their right track has gone, look! They've got major problems here, Mortis."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Gravedigger puts Mortis six feet under to cause a major upset
Mortis flailed away with its axe and spun around in circles, before Gravedigger flipped Mortis over, and, before Mortis could self-right, nudged it into the pit, prompting massive cheers from everyone in the pits. Gravedigger then attacked the House Robots, managing to partly dislodge Matilda's shell. Shunt slammed its axe into Gravedigger's shell, and the battle ended, with the fall of the second of Series 2's semi-finalists.
- Winner: Gravedigger
Darke Destroyer vs. T2
Darke Destroyer finds itself in between T2 and Shunt
T2 started by slamming into Darke Destroyer before nearly continuing into Shunt's CPZ. It turned, and attacked Darke Destroyer side on, pushing it around in circles before Darke Destroyer broke free. T2 continued to pursue The Darke Destroyer, pushing it into Dead Metal. Dead Metal's blade caused a shower of sparks, before it let go.
- "Clever driving - pushing The Darke Destroyer into the grip of Dead Metal."
- — Jonathan Pearce praises T2's driving
T2 gets too close to Dead Metal
After taking damage from Dead Metal's saw, Darke Destroyer escaped and landed glancing blows, but was pushed back towards Shunt by T2. T2 drove into a flame jet and both robots escaped. Another clash caused the blade to buckle T2's front ram, and other blows landed on the side and wheels.
- "It's very cautious. A conservative battle, this."
- — Jonathan Pearce
T2 rams Darke Destroyer into the side wall
T2 pushed into Darke Destroyer, raising its own front off the ground, but its rear-mounted wheels allowed it to push Darke Destroyer into the side walls and almost overturn its opponent. When this failed, T2 pulled away, only just escaped Dead Metal, and pushed Darke Destroyer around, taking one blow that caused it to jump slightly. When cease was called, a split decision put Darke Destroyer through, prompting some boos from the audience.
Winner: The Darke Destroyer
Heat Final
- "It's all been quite peaceful so far, but now's the third and final round. Let's kick some bottom!"
- — Craig Charles
Gravedigger vs. The Darke Destroyer
Darke Destroyer scratches Gravedigger's shell
The heat final featured two robots who were not expected to reach the stage. The two started by circling each other before The Darke Destroyer skirted up the front of Gravedigger. Gravedigger pushed The Darke Destroyer and fired its flipping arm, but The Darke Destroyer was in no position to be flipped over. The Darke Destroyer backed away with Gravedigger attempting to get underneath The Darke Destroyer once more. The Darke Destoryer then scratched Gravedigger with the blade before Gravedigger pushed The Darke Destroyer into Dead Metal, who sliced the front again.
- "Dead Metal, trying to drag The Darke Destroyer back into its CPZ, into its lair, and create more mayhem, and mechanical nuisance, and devilry."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Darke Destroyer is pinched by Dead Metal
The Darke Destroyer escaped, but continued to struggle to impose itself as Gravedigger attempted to get underneath The Darke Destroyer multiple times. Gravedigger finally managed to slide underneath the back of The Darke Destroyer and thrust it through the air, but couldn't flip it onto its back.
- "And there the lifting arm, flipping The Darke Destroyer up, but not over."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Dead Metal grabbed hold of The Darke Destroyer's blade, but wasn't close enough to inflict further damage into it with its circular saw, so released it. Gravedigger then angled underneath The Darke Destroyer and edged it towards Shunt. The two continued to jostle near the CPZ before Gravedigger forced The Darke Destroyer back once more. During the push, a spike came up from the arena floor and tossed The Darke Destroyer over.
The Darke Destroyer is flipped
- "This is crucial. This is a crucial moment in the heat final. Up and over, The Darke Destroyer."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Shunt axed the now immobile Darke Destroyer, while Gravedigger assaulted Sergeant Bash. Dead Metal then came in and cut into The Darke Destroyer's front yet again, before dragging it across the arena.
Heat Winner: Gravedigger
- "They say it never rains, but it always pours, but we reign supreme, on Robot Wars!"
- — Craig Charles signs off
Special Event
Eye of Newt hits the 50 point tyre
Between Round 1 and Round 2 of each heat, a Special Event or Trial took place. For Heat F, it was the third Pinball Warrior run, featuring Eye of Newt.
Score: 90 points
Trivia
- Heat F marked Mortis' poorest performance in its four-year run, losing in the second round of the heat to Gravedigger.
- In addition, the battle between T2 and Vector was the first time the judges intervened against a KO victory. Despite T2 falling into the pit, it was put through because Vector had been deemed immobile.
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