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"One day, somebody opened up the shell of an oyster and found inside what appeared to be a large globule of phlegm. But instead of throwing it away, he ate it. And he discovered that it was not only delicious, but also, that it was an aphrodisiac. Well I have the same amount of respect for the man who looked at his remote-controlled car and said "I know, I'll armour-plate that and use it to bash into other armour-plated remote-controlled cars". it may not have resulted in an urgent need to have sex, but he had invented Robot Wars."
— Jeremy Clarkson introducing the heat

Heat E of Robot Wars: The First Wars was the fifth of six heats which determined the Grand Finalists of Robot Wars: The First Wars. The episode featuring Heat E was originally broadcast on March 20, 1998 on BBC Two.

Competing robotsEdit

Bodyhammer
Bodyhammer
Weight 78.9kg
Dimensions 0.80m x 0.80m x 0.60m
Speed 9mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 15mm
Power 4 x 18V domestic drill motors
Weapons Hammer
From: Gloucester
Team Members: Robin Herrick, Andrew Dayton-Lovett & Steve Jones
Fullmetalanorak
Full Metal Anorak
Weight 28.5kg
Dimensions 0.80m x 0.67m x 0.25m
Speed 12mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 10mm
Power 12V motor
Weapons Blade & tusks
From: Maldon
Team Members: Paul Baxter
Psychosprout 2
Psychosprout
Weight 24.3kg
Dimensions 1.00m x 1.00m x 1.00m
Speed 5mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 0mm
Power Electric motor
Weapons None
From: Ludlow
Team Members: Toby Marsden & Chris Marsden
Reali-t
REALI-T
Weight 40.8kg
Dimensions 0.95m x 0.80m x 0.30m
Speed 9mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 25mm
Power 6 x 90W motors
Weapons Steel spikes
From: Worcester
Team Members: Richard Finch, Craig Williams & Tim Calladene
Torque Of The Devil
Torque of the Devil
Weight 57.9kg
Dimensions 1.04m x 0.65m x 0.65m
Speed 4mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 10mm
Power 12V motor
Weapons Blade & drill
From: Haverfordwest
Team Members: Adam Pengilly & Lee Chenery
Wharthog
Wharthog
Weight 24.4kg
Dimensions 1.10m x 0.70m x 0.35m
Speed 8mph
Turning Circle 2m
Ground Clearance 5mm
Power 24W wheelchair control unit
Weapons 2 large spikes
From: Biggleswade
Team Members: Oliver Brown, Nick Brown & Tom Anthony

GauntletEdit

Full Metal AnorakEdit

Fullmetalanorakgauntlet

Full Metal Anorak navigates the maze

Full Metal Anorak reversed out of the turntable and headed down the right route. With a high turning circle, Full Metal Anorak was forced to make 3-point turns around the bends in the maze, getting slightly trapped on the last bend. After escaping, Full Metal Anorak got caught on the "land mines" and had to back up, before driving at speed across the spikes and into the end zone.

Torque of the DevilEdit

Bash grille torque of the devil

Sergeant Bash grills Torque of the Devil

With the turntable in an awkward position, Torque of the Devil had to reverse out. Torque of the Devil chose to go down the left route, but got too close to Sergeant Bash, which started pushing Torque of the Devil around. Torque of the Devil didn't move much, allowing Sergeant Bash to push it towards and onto the grille where both got stuck. Sergeant Bash flicked flames at Torque of the Devil as time ran out.

BodyhammerEdit

Bodyhammer gauntlet

Bodyhammer turns in the maze

Bodyhammer reversed out of the turntable and headed down the right route into the maze. Bodyhammer bounced into the fences a few times, but safely navigated the mazes. Bodyhammer turned right, around the drills, as it headed towards the spikes, but turned too hard trying to avoid them and almost onto a grille. Bodyhammer bounced off the wall, and then took a quick drive across the line at the end.

WharthogEdit

Wharthog Gauntlet

Wharthog's seemingly insignificant but terminal damage

Wharthog waited for the turntable to point it in the right direction before driving out, but bumped into the fence. This bent a corner of the bodywork down, lifting the drive wheels up and stopping it in place.

Jeremy Clarkson: "So how many months of work was that?"
Oliver Brown: "I don't want to talk to you"
Jeremy Clarkson: "I reckon about 2 months to go about 2 yards"
Oliver Brown: "No comment!"
Jeremy Clarkson: "You don't look desperately happy"
Oliver Brown: "That's because I'm not"
Jeremy Clarkson: "Right! Well on that note, we'll get back to the game"

— The awkward post battle interview.

PsychosproutEdit

Psychosproutgauntlet

Psychosprout moves down the run

Psychosprout rolled out of the turntable and went for the left route, past Sergeant Bash. It made it around the corner, but got wedged between two spike blocks. Sergeant Bash moved in, lifting Psychosprout up as it was pushed into the blocks, but as it fell, was freed. Psychosprout was pushed forwards by Sergeant Bash, rolling along until time finished.

REALI-TEdit

Realitgauntlet

REALI-T crosses the ramps

REALI-T headed out of the turntable and up the ramp, slowly passing it. As it dropped down, the drill held it back, but REALI-T moved past and up the second ramp. REALI-T slowly edged over the top and waited for the pendulum to swing away, before an unexpected burst of speed across the line.

ResultsEdit

Rank Robot Distance
1
REALI-T Completed
2
Full Metal Anorak Completed
3
Bodyhammer Completed
4
Psychosprout 9.00m
5
Torque of the Devil 4.92m
6
Wharthog 3.92m

Trial (Labyrinth)Edit

Labyrinth trial

Full Metal Anorak runs to the aid of REALI-T against Matilda, with Torque of the Devil making slow progress. The flames in the background are Bash and Shunt attacking Bodyhammer

Bodyhammer and REALI-T were quick out of the blocks as the robots squeezed through the two gaps. REALI-T headed Bodyhammer and Psychosprout through the right entrance. REALI-T entered a clearing and struggled to choose a route, allowing Bodyhammer to catch up and push it away.

Torque of the Devil had followed Full Metal Anorak through the left entrance, but both were trapped in a dead end by Sergeant Bash. Full Metal Anorak tried to push Sergeant Bash, and the house robot eventually reversed out of its way.

Psychsprout trial

Psychosprout still at the start

With Psychosprout seemingly immobile at the start, Torque of the Devil were safe, but still being hounded by Sergeant Bash. Full Metal Anorak jinked around the final few corners to cross the finish line first.

Bodyhammer was trapped by both Sergeant Bash and Shunt, which allowed Torque of the Devil to catch up. In the other route, Matilda was blocking the path of REALI-T as it pushed back, and Full Metal Anorak came in behind the try and move Matilda out of the way.

"But look at this - he's fed up with waiting - I think he's trying to help out the others now!"
— Jonathan Pearce
Bodyhammer trial

Bodyhammer loses crucial distance in the last 7 seconds

Bodyhammer tried to pass Sergeant Bash, but was pushed backwards instead. As time ended, Psychosprout were eliminated having not managed to get through the start.

Jeremy Clarkson: "That was a fine performance. Any problems?"
Paul Baxter: "Bit of wheel spin, and boredom. I wanted to get a bit of damage on Matilda at the end."
— After the run
Philippa Forrester: "I keep advising people - not to combat directly with our house robots."
Team REALI-T: "We've got to give it a go"
Philippa Forrester: "Does anyone ever listen to me? Nope! No one ever listens to a thing I say!"
— Post Trial interview

ResultsEdit

Rank Robot
1
Full Metal Anorak
2
REALI-T*
3
Torque of the Devil
4
Bodyhammer*
5
Psychosprout

ArenaEdit

Semi-FinalsEdit

Bodyhammer vs Torque of the DevilEdit

Bodyhammertoqueofdevil

Bodyhammer slams Torque of the Devil into the side

Philippa Forrester: "Bodyhammer! Where's your hammer?"
Team Cold Fusion: "We had a small problem...the weapons pod is now a destructor"
Philippa Forrester: "Ok...I hope it works!"
Jonathan Pearce: "Well they've been my tips throughout, but I wonder if that will make a difference in this semi-final."
— Before the battle
Dead Metal Torque of the devil

Dead Metal's pincers claw through the head of Torque of the Devil

Bodyhammer whizzed around the arena towards the sluggish Torque of the Devil, eventually pushing it towards Sergeant Bash. Bodyhammer pushed Torque of the Devil from the back, punching a hole in the fibreglass armour and trying to avoid the flywheel on the back, luckily though the flywheel was easily stopped when Bodyhammer came into contact with it. Bodyhammer reversed out to reposition itself for a charge, pushing Torque of the Devil through the CPZ and onto the rails at the side. Dead Metal charged in and gripped Torque of the Devil, punching it a few times. Shunt axed Torque of the Devil and pulled it off the rails. Bodyhammer pushed back, getting Torque of the Devil back towards the rails. After bashing Dead Metal it slammed Torque of the Devil a few more times, and finally stopped moving.

Winner: Bodyhammer

Full Metal Anorak vs REALI-TEdit

REALI-T vs Full Metal Anorak

REALI-T shunts Full Metal Anorak into the side wall

Both robots tentatively moved to the centre of the arena, where they smacked into each other. Full Metal Anorak backed up and tried to get the tyre-popping blade under REALI-T. Full Metal Anorak passed Sergeant Bash, which came out of his CPZ in time to block REALI-T and try to cut it with the saw.

REALI-T pushed Full Metal Anorak from the side as Sergeant Bash returned to his CPZ. Full Metal Anorak reversed to come in for a slam again, but was forced into a corner by REALI-T's positioning, and took a few slams as it escaped. Full Metal Anorak crossed the arena, being followed by REALI-T, which pushed Full Metal Anorak back towards the rails. REALI-T pressured and spiked Full Metal Anorak, almost getting the blade stuck under the rails, but Full Metal Anorak escaped.

Both robots split and were both set on by House Robots, but both escaped. Full Metal Anorak charged into REALI-T and bounced towards the grille, before driving forwards onto it and getting stuck.

Jeremy Clarkson: "Well congratulations, you're through to the next round, with the noisiest machine of the lot!"
Jonathan Pearce: "That sounds almost like a demented, mechanised cricket to me"
— Compliments made on REALI-T's electronic siren

Winner: REALI-T

FinalEdit

Bodyhammer vs REALI-TEdit

Bodyhammer reali-t shunt

Shunt frees Bodyhammer from the grilles

REALI-T moved forwards towards Bodyhammer, turning away when the got close. Bodyhammer was chased by REALI-T until it knocked into Dead Metal, hiding behind the house robot. REALI-T bumped into a spike block but escaped, as Bodyhammer were being pressured by Matilda in the middle of the arena. Bodyhammer slammed REALI-T into the side wall, allowing Matilda to attack REALI-T.

"And she looks grumpy! I think she's suffering from PMT! Pre-mechanical tension!"
— Jonathan Pearce

REALI-T moved away, as Bodyhammer pushed past Matilda and Sergeant Bash, but drove onto the grille in the centre of the arena. REALI-T pushed Matilda out of the way to push Bodyhammer further onto the grille. Shunt moved in towards Bodyhammer, and REALI-T tried to stop the house robot with a slam from its spikes.

"No, you don't take on Shunt, you take on Bodyhammer! Bodyhammer's off that grille, given a little bit of a Shunt of assistance."
— Jonathan Pearce
Reali-t immobilised

REALI-T against the edge of the arena

Shunt freed Bodyhammer off the grille, which escaped onto the spikes in Matilda's CPZ. REALI-T were stuck on the side rails after a wheel had fallen off, and Bodyhammer drove in to push them further onto the rails and into defeat.

Heat Winner: Bodyhammer

ErrorsEdit

Incorrect labyrinth results

The official results

There were a series of Errors in the Labyrinth Trial of this heat.

  • Psychosprout was misspelled as Pyschosprout
  • *REALI-T and Bodyhammer's placings were mistakenly reversed, putting Bodyhammer second and REALI-T fourth.

Intriguingly, Heat E was also the only heat not to follow the regular UK Championship format of the placings in the Trials. If the results had been listed correctly, Bodyhammer (fourth) would have fought REALI-T (second), and Full Metal Anorak (first) would have fought Torque of the Devil (third). Even with the incorrect listings, the format should have been the same, but it was ignored, for reasons unknown.

Trivia Edit

  • Bodyhammer making the Grand Final made it the first of four robots with an overhead weapon to make it into a Grand Final.