- "Ah, at last: Robot Wars enters the computer age!"
- — Jonathan Pearce in Series 6
Mega Hurts (also spelled as Mega Hurtz) was a robot which debuted in Series 2, and then fought in Series 6 and 7. Despite entering four series, the Mega Hurts team never made it past the heats, or even reached a Heat Final. The team also entered Series 3 with Tut's Revenge.
Mega Hurts in all three of its appearances entered with a different incarnation but every robot was computer-themed.
Versions of Mega HurtsEdit
Weighing 71.8kg, Mega Hurts was a yellow box shaped robot based on a desktop computer. It was powered by four drive motors, salvaged from Ford Fiesta windscreen wipers. For weaponry, it was equipped with a lifting plate, designed to look like a computer keyboard, referred to on the show as a 'keyboard disguised lift'. It featured a rear blade which could move vertically, and a mouse mascot, and the robot even featured a moving disc drive. The monitor contained the robot's receiver. However, Mega Hurts was slow at only 4mph.
Mega Hurts 2Edit
The team returned for Series 6 with Mega Hurts 2, weighing 100kg. Its lifter was now more powerful, and quicker in operation, positioned at an angle instead of directly lifting upwards. The rear of the robot was protected by a static spear. Mega Hurts 2 used innovative side axes, powered by an automatic infrared system to fire whenever another robot came within six inches of Mega Hurts 2, making the robot one of the first to use autonomous weaponry. The side of the robot was decorated with warning stripe skirts, and the monitor on top now featured an angry face.
Mega Hurts LTEdit
Mega Hurts LT appeared in Series 7, the initials in the name standing for 'laptop'. It was lighter than its predecessor by 9kg. The robot now had a much more low-profile shape, constructed from polycarbonate with a steel chassis. All three sides of the robot were protected by static spikes, aside from the front, which featured a brand new double-flipper system, the first offensive use of the monitor on a Mega-Hurts machine. The keyboard flips upwards, while the monitor flips forwards, the team boasting that the combination of the two could flip another robot out of the arena. Mega Hurts LT was also the first machine from the team that could self-right, although it still struggled to do so when low on gas.
The team failed to qualify for Series 5 when Mega Hurts lost its qualifier to The Stag, which removed Mega Hurts' name stickers as well as scratching and denting the armour, failing to pierce the sides. This version had a radio modem between two computers instead of the traditional RC system.
- "Forget roms, Craig, this one can ram!"
- — Jonathan Pearce in Series 2
Mega Hurts fought in Heat K of the Second Wars for its first Robot Wars appearance. In the Gauntlet stage, Mega Hurts took the ramrig route, but got stuck half way down it due to the robots considerable width, but managed to break free, dodge the House Robots and reach the end zone, which put it second out of 6 on the leaderboard, more than enough to put it through to the trial stage of the Heat, which was King of the Castle.
After Plunderbird's run, the Mega Hurts team called the Plunderbird team chickens for driving into the Pit of Oblivion on purpose, and led a chorus of chicken noises in the pits, which was copied by several other roboteers.
However, this turned to look premature for Mega Hurts in the King of the Castle Trial, Mega Hurts was defeated fairly quickly (just 22.2 seconds) after getting driven off the podium by Dead Metal after the robot carelessly positioned itself in the balance and on the edge. The house robot delayed its attack to push it off, but when it did, Dead Metal went off with it. Dead Metal fell on the Computer Monitor, crushing it. This left Mega Hurts at the bottom of the leaderboard at the end of the Trial, eliminating them from the competition.
- "That's suicide, That is suicide! You're going, you're going, you're gone!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts is pushed off the ring in the Trial
At the end of the series, Mega Hurts was nominated for the Most Original Entry Award but lost out to Milly-Ann Bug.
- "Plenty of "ram" from the 24 volt motor, loads of "mega-byte" from the flipper, axe and spikes, but "monitor" this lightweight armour closely and you'll see this computer-bot could "crash" easily!"
- — Jonathan Pearce sums up Mega Hurts with a lot of computer puns
The Mega Hurts team returned to the Sixth series of Robot Wars after a long interval away from the show, this time returning with an improved machine in Mega Hurts 2. In Heat B of the competition, Mega Hurts 2 was placed up against the number 3 seeds Firestorm 4, and two newcomers to the televised show in Colossus and Cedric Slammer in the first round melee. Mega Hurts 2 started reasonably well, but it was Firestorm 4 that did all of the aggressive work, first flipping Cedric Slammer over and then Colossus over, where neither of them could self-right. Then Mega Hurts was also flipped over by Firestorm 4, smashing its computer monitor. Mega Hurts was also unable to self-right, so Firestorm used pushed them into the pit. Soon afterwards, Firestorm 4 drove straight into the pit of its own accord, but as Mega Hurts and Firestorm 4 were the last two robots to be immobilised, they were both put through to the next round of the heat by the judges.
- Philippa Forrester: "Mega Hurts, now as good as new. Show me the before"
- Team Mega Hurts: "Here it is, our starter kit."
- Philippa Forrester: "That's after Round 1, this is going into Round 2, so remember what it looks like now, because you're up against...the nasty X-Terminator. And you have a grudge against computers, don't you?"
- Marlon Pritchard: "Yeah, computers have messed me around all my life, so we've made sure the axe is extra sharp for this one."
- — Mega Hurts 2 is threatened by Team X-Terminator
In the second round, Mega Hurts 2 was drawn up against the experienced X-Terminator machine. X-Terminator dominated the match (particularly the early stages), relentlessly hitting Mega Hurts 2 with its axe, smashing the screen off the brand new computer monitor, though Mega Hurts 2 did get underneath and push its opponent towards the end of the fight, driving it into a CPZ. X-Terminator lost its axe head eventually before cease was called. Mega Hurts 2 had fought well, but the judges' decision went in favour of X-Terminator, eliminating Mega Hurts 2 from the competition.
- Jayne Middlemiss: "Started in Series 2, it's now War 7."
- Dave Lund: "We're getting old."
- — Pre-first round interview
In Heat H of the Seventh Wars, Mega Hurts LT was drawn up against the Cornish machine St. Agro, New Blood competitors Revolution 3 and newcomers The Scrapper in its first round melee. Mega Hurts LT started fairly well, narrowly missing robots with its flipper weapon. St. Agro came in to try to flip Mega Hurts LT, but the more experienced machine managed to stay on its wheels. After a while, St. Agro managed to properly flip Mega Hurts LT over, but Mega Hurts LT was just about able to self-right. After St. Agro had dispatched The Scrapper by throwing it out of the arena, Revolution 3 began to slowly grind to an unprovoked halt just as St. Agro flipped Mega Hurts LT over again, Mega Hurts LT couldn't self-right this time.
Mega Hurts LT's wheels were still very slowly spinning, however Refbot counted out Mega Hurts LT. It was then flipped by the floor flipper, before being dumped into the pit by House Robot Growler. 'Cease' was then called and Mega Hurts LT was eliminated from the competition, while St. Agro and Revolution 3 progressed.
|MEGA HURTS - RESULTS|
|The Second Wars - UK Championship|
|Heat K, Gauntlet||Completed (2nd)||Qualified|
|Heat K, Trial (King of the Castle)||22.20 Seconds (5th)||Eliminated|
|MEGA HURTS 2 - RESULTS|
|The Sixth Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 2
|Heat B, Round 1||vs. Cedric Slammer, Colossus, Firestorm 4 (3)||Qualified|
|Heat B, Round 2||vs. X-Terminator||Lost|
|MEGA HURTS LT - RESULTS|
|The Seventh Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 1
|Heat H, Round 1||vs. Revolution 3, St. Agro, The Scrapper||Eliminated|
- Wins: 1
- Losses: 2
NOTE: Mega Hurts' Gauntlet and Trial runs are not included
|Series||Mega Hurts Series Record|
|The First Wars||Did not enter|
|The Second Wars||Heat, Trial|
|The Third Wars||Entered with Tut's Revenge|
|The Fourth Wars||Did not enter|
|The Fifth Wars||Failed to qualify|
|The Sixth Wars||Heat, Round 2|
|The Seventh Wars||Heat, Round 1|
|Series 8||Did not enter|
|Series 9||Did not enter|
|Series 10||Did not enter|
- On entrance to the arena for its Series 7 battle, the Robot Wars announcer Stuart McDonald introduced Mega Hurts LT as Mega Hurts Limited, believing that the LT in the name stood for Limited, rather than Laptop.
- Mega Hurts LT was one of seven robots from a team that had previously fought in 3 wars that went out in the first round of the Seventh Wars, the others being Aggrobot, Velocirippa, Metalis, Black and Blue, Major Tom 3 and Shredder Evolution.
- Most Original Entry - Robot Wars: The Second Wars