Hard Cheese from Extreme Series 1
|UK Series||2-3, Extreme 1|
|Team Members|| Nigel Kerr|
(Series 2, Extreme 1)
|Dimensions||1.04m x 0.58m x 0.30m|
|Power||2 x 36V Wheelchair Motors|
|Weapons||Front Wedge and rear-mounted Spikes and Cutting Disc|
Robot statistics correct as of its most recent appearance on the show
- "A wedge shaped, cheese robot"
- — Jonathan Pearce
Hard Cheese was a middleweight robot from Liverpool that entered the first three Middleweight Championships of Robot Wars. It featured a spinning stainless steel disc on its back in Extreme Series 1, a pickaxe in Series 3 and in Series 2 it had large spikes sticking out of its back, and it preferred to drive into robots forward rather than backwards where they would hit the weaponry as it was a wedge shaped robot capable of shoving other robots around, but had no self-righting mechanism.
The machine always competed with a fake rat on top of it, named Verminator. In Series 2, it easily won the middleweight championship. In Series 3, the middleweight championship was cancelled, but Hard Cheese still took part in an exhibition Middleweight Melee, losing after Sir Killalot spent most of the match tormenting it. In spite of this, Hard Cheese was given the middleweight trophy, as its title had not been contested. In Extreme Series 1, it returned for the middleweight championship and finished in second place after it was knocked out and immobilised after just a few blows from Typhoon, although it did last longer than all of the other competitors in the battle.
- "Do I smell a rat?"
- — Jonathan Pearce points out Verminator
The Series 2 Middleweight Championship was only one straight forward battle. As well as the Featherweight battle and the Lightweight battle only around ten seconds of this fight was actually broadcast. However, Hard Cheese was constantly ramming its two opponents, Wharthog and Doodlebug, using its classic wedge shape to help with the pushing. Hard Cheese seemed much more active than the other two competitors throughout. Doodlebug broke down fairly early on, and was later assaulted by the House Robots. Wharthog failed to be able to turn around to stop Hard Cheese hacking away at it and eventually stopped after taking a lot of punishment from Hard Cheese. After Hard Cheese's opponents had been declared as out, Hard Cheese partially took on the House Robots. Dead Metal then stormed in and forced Verminator to fall off the wedge and was then placed on the flame pit and burnt by Shunt. This was enough for Hard Cheese to become the first official Middleweight Champion. Despite the vast cruelty it had suffered, Verminator was rescued and heavily bandaged up afterwards.
- "Yes, we burn just about everything on Robot Wars!"
- — Jonathan Pearce, as Verminator is pushed onto the flame pit
- "Hardly mousing"
- — Jonathan Pearce, on the team
Hard Cheese returned in the following series, armed with a new spiked hammer, in addition to the large spikes. However, the actual Middleweight Championship (like all other weight-class championships) was cancelled, so Hard Cheese merely fought in an exhibition battle against other Middleweights. Here, Hard Cheese was placed up against the middleweight version of A-Kill, newcomers Grinder, the return of Ripper's Revenge and American entrants Tentomushi. In the battle, Hard Cheese started by attacking Ripper's Revenge, and then steered away from the blood-thirsty American robot Tentomushi. Hard Cheese then started to thump its axe onto A-Kill but was then covered up by Tentomushi who'd targeted Hard Cheese right from the start. Tentomushi retreated and covered Ripper's Revenge, this caused Verminator to fall off. But Hard Cheese had stopped moving, it could only flail its axe in the air, due to the long delays causing its Rx battery to go flat, triggering its failsafes. Hard Cheese was then picked up by Sir Killalot, twisted around by the lance. Then Sir Killalot placed Hard Cheese down and pushed it over to the flame pit, Sir Killalot then started to drive over the immobilised robot with his tracks, before he finally left Hard Cheese alone, but even still remarkably staying in one piece after Sir Killalot's repeated attacks.
- "Let's have a toast, to Hard Cheese"
- — Jonathan Pearce, as Hard Cheese lies on the flame pit
The battle ended with victory being jointly awarded to A-Kill and Tentomushi, but as a new Middleweight Champion had been officially declared by the Championship, the Middlewight Trophy was merely given to the incumbent Champion Hard Cheese.
Hard Cheese had also previously been due to compete in the War of Independence, which was aired afterwards as part of the International League Championship, where it would have fought Tentomushi again. However, it was replaced with A-Kill due to the producers wanting to give the lightweight American a fairer fight.
- "We've seen Hard Cheese before, Sir Killalot didn't like it."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Hard Cheese was upgraded again for this tournament, with a small cutting disc replacing its hammer weapon. Hard Cheese entered the Middleweight Championship in Extreme Series 1 and was placed up against the Edinburgh Air Cadets' Typhoon, Welsh entrants Genesis, the walkerbot Mammoth, Zap of the Beef-Cake team and the first incarnation of Doom. Hard Cheese stayed out of the main action at the start of the battle, whilst Typhoon spun around doing minor damage to most of the other competitors, until it managed to break one of Mammoth's legs clean off. Hard Cheese then attacked Genesis, ramming it across a short distance, before Typhoon came in and spun Genesis away. Typhoon hit Hard Cheese, failing to knock it away quickly, unlike the others. Hard Cheese was then attempted to cut into Typhoon using its saw, only causing a few scratches on Typhoon's shell, but then Hard Cheese was sent spinning away by Typhoon, leaving large slices in the former's side. Hard Cheese was still moving, unlike the other competitors (excluding Typhoon), but was only one of its wheels was working. Genesis was counted out by the Refbot and flipped by the arena floor flipper. Mammoth and Zap were then deemed immobilised and were flipped by the flipper too. Hard Cheese had eventually ran out of steam and completely broken down, right after Doom. Then both Hard Cheese and Doom were flung by the arena floor flipper, with Hard Cheese landing on its back, making Typhoon the only middleweight competitor still mobile and the subsequent winner of the Middleweight Championship.
|HARD CHEESE - RESULTS|
|Middleweight Championship||vs. Wharthog, Doodlebug||Won|
|Middleweight Melee||vs. Tentomushi, Grinder, A-Kill, Ripper's Revenge||Lost|
|Extreme Series 1|
|Middleweight Championship||vs. Typhoon, Zap, Genesis|
- Wins: 1
- Losses: 2
- Series 1: Did not enter
- Series 2: Middleweight Champion
- Series 3: Middleweight Melee
- Series 4: Withdrew with V.I.P.E.R. 01 and Failed to qualify
- Series 5: Entered with V.I.P.E.R. 01
- Series 6-7: Did not enter
- Hard Cheese was the only middleweight in Robot Wars history to feature a hammer weapon.
- Hard Cheese had a brief cameo on the sitcom Spaced in the episode "Mettle."